Phobias

I’ve called myself the Phobia Fixer so I thought it might be useful to share what I’ve learnt and experiences over the years about phobias; why I deal with them and how things can change for you.

In researching the topic it’s interesting to note the people have separated out anxiety, panic and phobia:

Anxiety

Anxiety is the normal human feeling of fear that we all experience when faced with threatening or difficult situations. It can help us to avoid dangerous situations, making us alert and giving us the motivation to deal with problems. But, if these feelings of anxiety are too strong, it can stop us from doing the things we want to.

Panic

A sudden unexpected surge of anxiety which makes you want to leave the worrying situation.  For some people this is when they experience the fight or flight phenomena, a surge of adrenalin runs through your body; useful when facing a tiger, not always helpful in corporate life.

Phobia

A phobia is a fear of particular situations or things that are not dangerous, and which most people do not find troublesome.  Often there will have been an inciting incident even if you can’t remember it.

My inciting incident happened at the age of 4; I was knocked over by a large dog, I don’t remember it, nothing else happened (I wasn’t attacked, the dog was just being over friendly) but growing up I had a fear of dogs.  Because a phobia is about a specific thing you may find that you tend to avoid the situations that make you anxious – but this makes the phobia worse as time goes on. It can also mean that your life becomes increasingly dominated by the precautions you have to take to avoid such situations. You will usually realise that there is no real danger and may even feel silly about your phobia, but still can’t control it.

In my mind the differences aren’t that important;  primarily because I can fix any of these (more importantly I can help you fix these yourself – if we accept that concerns about control and feeling out of control are often at the root of an issue then taking back control of your thoughts, feelings and reactions is an incredibly powerful thing); and secondarily because for some people these things become a progression and I’d rather help someone as early as possible to understand that they can control  the effect any and all of these situations.

If you’re easily suggestible look away now!

At its absolute worst being put into a situation where you have to come face to face with your phobia can bring on some or all of the following:

  • Rapid heartbeat, pounding heart or palpitations
  • Sweating; palms, armpits, down the middle of your back or chest
  • Shaking visibly or inside
  • Choking sensations or lump in throat (Globus Hystericus)
  • Smothering or shortness of breath sensations
  • Chest pain or discomfort
  • Nausea, bloating, indigestion or abdominal discomfort
  • Dizziness or unsteadiness
  • Feeling light-headed
  • Derealisation (feeling unreal or dreamy)
  • Depersonalization (feeling outside yourself or like you don’t exist)
  • Fear of losing control or going crazy
  • Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations) in face, extremities or body
  • Chills or hot flushes
  • Skin losing color
  • Blushing or skin blotches
  • Urgently needing to urinate or defecate
  • Inappropriate/Disturbed thoughts
  • Muscle pain, especially in neck or shoulders

 …and possibly many more!

Pretty scary – even if you only get two or three of these symptoms it feels awful.

I get interesting reactions when I mention that I help people with their phobias – if it really is a phobia, then they tend to say no thanks.  On the surface I can understand this; if you’re so afraid of something that you can’t look at a picture or even say the word, then starting a conversation that means you’ll have to do exactly that is probably more than you can bear.  Ironically those are the people who benefit the fastest from the procedures I use – they’re able to access their fear and anxiety (and panic and terror . . .) very easily and therefore are in the ideal zone for a quick and effective treatment.  In fact I’d go as far as to say the more items you can tick off on the list the more effective the treatment.

What might have held you back in the past from looking for help?

  • Concerns that you’ll have to face the object of your fear
    • If you can think about it that’s all that’s needed
  • That your fear is part of your identity: you’re the agoraphobic who’s not left the house for ten years
    • You have many more interesting facets to your identity that will have a chance to shine
  • The secondary gains: your fear of soap suds means you don’t have to do the washing up!  Perhaps you’re aware that you get sympathy, treats even control over other people
    • If these outweigh any possible gain you can see from not having the phobia then I doubt we’ll be speaking!
  • A belief that we have to be afraid of something – if you lose one fear you’ll gain another
    • If something new starts to scare you you’ll have all the tools you need to banish that fear!
  • Having to face the realisation of waste – it might have been years
    • The past is past; the future is much more exciting to contemplate!
  • The thought that you’re suddenly going to love what you’ve hated
    • The goal is to stop your current suffering, I’m not expecting you to start keeping spiders as pets!

What do you want?

Forgive me for making an assumption on your behalf but I’m going  to say that you want something that’s:

  • Quick
  • Effective
  • Long lasting
  • Painless

What do I deliver?

  • Quick – one or two sessions are usually all that’s needed – not the weeks or months of appointments suggested by some other types of help
  • Effective – descriptions for how it feels include “it’s like an electric circuit has been broken”; “I couldn’t be bothered to be scared”;  “the picture has just dissolved”
  • Long lasting – once the link between the memory and the emotion it brings up has been cut it won’t come back.  More importantly you’ll have the techniques to hand if something new comes up
  • Painless – any emotional pain you bring with you will be gone very quickly

 

What won’t happen?

You won’t suddenly lose all perspective and start over-ridding the common sense and normal fear  that keeps us safe.  You’ll be able to stand on a balcony at the top of a tall building but you won’t have an urge to jump!

Your internal systems will have a chance to reset and you’ll go back to having the normal reactions that keep you safe without the over-reactions that leave you in a state of panic.

So now that you’re ready to give up your fear, phobia or anxiety, call me and lets take the next step together.

Oh and what do I get out of it?  I get to see your face as the fear and pain falls away and you start to realise that your new life is about to begin.  That’s why I do this.