The Phobia Fixer

I have always hated public speaking and in particular speaking at meetings.  My mind just seemed to shut down so that I couldn’t access either my knowledge or my reason to engage in any discussion. Unfortunately my job demands quite a bit of both so I have learnt strategies for minimising them. I did not realise how crippling this had been until I had my treatment from Lucy.

She gave me one 45 minute treatment to help me deal with a forthcoming presentation to the board of directors at the multinational media company where I work.  Although it was 6 weeks away I was already so anxious that I was unable to think clearly enough to prepare for it effectively. My anxiety was clouding my judgment so I couldn’t think straight and was overwhelmed by the material.  

The day after my treatment I had another unrelated meeting at the trade organisation for my industry.  Representatives from all the other member companies attend and I usually sit quietly and hope no one asks me anything. To my amazement (and I think the surprise of some of the other attendees!) I felt comfortable and relaxed at the meeting, added a new topic to the agenda I wished to discuss and participated in some of the other discussions. It was so liberating to be able to join in, and I realised how debilitating it had been to organise my life around avoiding speaking.

As the time approached for my presentation I was, unusually, able to think clearly about what was needed and prepare my presentation in a pragmatic way. It was a difficult subject which did not become any easier, but I was able to think more clearly about what I needed to prepare and what I could leave out.

As the day approached I kept waiting to hit the point of blind panic when I could no longer think or function, but it never happened. I had, as usual, cleared my diary on the day of the presentation on the assumption that I would be unable to concentrate on anything before had and would collapse with relief afterwards.

In fact, when the morning came I still felt OK so got on with some other work before the presentation.  As the time approached I kept waiting for my throat to tighten and my mind to blank out, but it never did. When I walked into the board room I assumed it would start but I remained relaxed. As I gave my presentation I was able to think about what I was saying, answer the questions as they came up, and remain present.

I was thanked by everyone afterwards who said it was very helpful and we discussed other issues I could bring to the board. I felt for the first time that able to participate in my company at the level at which I am employed.

Other than it being so immediately and comprehensively effective, I really liked the fact that I only needed one treatment, and did not have to confess my fears to Lucy. I felt that the treatment worked on a mechanical level – that an electrical circuit had been broken so that I no longer had to respond to the thought of a presentation with fear.   P, London ’09